It's been a while precious blog...i'm sorry!
So what's new with me? Well let's see...
I really wish people would not ask me my opinion if you don't plan on taking it. Sure I acknowledge that I am young and SOMEWHAT inexperienced. On the flip side of that coin however, I have an innate sense of hierarchy, working inside bureacracy and how to work the system. Isn't that why some ask me my opinion in the first place?
I am unique in that I don't have to wait until I'm 50 years old with 30 years of experience under my belt to know what I'm doing. Sure, there are some things that I have no clue about. In those instances, I really have no problem saying "I don't know". However, when you're asking me about something I know, take what I'm telling you. Otherwise, please don't waste both of our time asking.
I thank my sorority for showing me what politics were really about. I thank God for giving me this gift of knowing organizations like the back of my hand. He has allowed me to "see" things before they happen, so much so that obviously people do not believe what I say to them simply because they can not see it for themselves. Thankfully I'm growing in such a way that I don't have to curse or yell or scream when someone asks my opinion, I give it to them and yet they still repeat - I don't know what to do. Didn't I just tell you? Okay, maybe not. In those cases, I simply redirect said person to someone who has higher regard in their eyes. Someone who's opinion they value and respect. Someone who will tell them the EXACT same thing I just told them. Clearly, I'm not the person you wanted advice from in the first place. And that's okay.
In brighter news, I'm LOVING my graduate program! I've been emailing the "world" and getting advice from those who are doing what I'd like to be doing with my life...TEACHING!
It's exciting to be so close to your purpose in life, so close to your calling, so close to your destiny. This truly is the greatest thing ever. I don't think anyone could have ever described this feeling for me...this is DEFINITELY something you have to experience for yourself!
Today, I went running and I felt truly powerful. I mean like pure...like I was connecting with my ancestors. As crazy as it sounds, it was simply me and the pavement. Me the individual against the world...that's how I felt. And even though it was only me, I felt like I could still win. Me and the elements. Avid runners probably already know what I mean...how I felt. This is such a GREAT time in my life right now! Even with the crazy stuff that goes on around me, I choose to focus on the good, the GREAT, the BEST part of life!
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Warning...Not So Positive...
Self righteous? Sometimes...I'll admit it. But sometimes the people around me make me want to SCREEEEEEEEEEAM!!!!
The people who care more about Oprah's segment on puppy mills than the number of poor and homeless in this city. The people who would rather focus on making money and advancing their portfolio than donating time or even THOUGHT toward something larger than themselves. The people who talk about pure nonsense ALL day long.
Lord give me strength...
When I give you a plugger on a program that will keep youth off the streets so that they WON'T try to jack you for that nice car you're indebted for the next 10 years for, you look down on me. But in the very next breath you're inviting me to some party? You wear your oh so gorgeous fraternity paraphernalia to the workplace, but when I ask you when your next service project, you give me the $h!* face.
Where have I been? Has the world always been this way? Has my head really been THAT far in the clouds that I couldn't see what was going on around me? I realize I'm ultra positive - sometimes to a fault. But is it really this bad out here? I mean do you mean to tell me that NOBODY wants to be part of the solution? Instead, they'd rather be part of the problem?
If you're watching someone drowning and instead of trying to give them a hand, you simply stand there and stare or even worse turn your back on them, aren't you just as guilty as the person who pushed them into the pool? Why not?
My head hurts sometimes when I'm at work just listening to the ignorance that's spewn around me. Tuition for this online university is going for $60k for a Bachelor's degree. $60k!!! And you want to give me a packet filled with reasons why the latest tuition increase is justifiable? Give me a break!
We are meeting a need for some...I'll give you that. But is what we're offering really work sixty thousand dollars? Somehow I don't believe it. I can't force myself to believe that I'll have LESS THAN $60k total for both my undergrad and grad degrees and yet this school that I work for is worth HALF that. Come on now!
Okay world...so now you know...I HAVE to get out of here! I'm trying my best to move on. I mean I'm literally ITCHING to make a difference in someone's life. But no one's hiring me!
Later on, i'll come back and edit this and put a positive spin on it. But not right now...I'm not in the mood.
The people who care more about Oprah's segment on puppy mills than the number of poor and homeless in this city. The people who would rather focus on making money and advancing their portfolio than donating time or even THOUGHT toward something larger than themselves. The people who talk about pure nonsense ALL day long.
Lord give me strength...
When I give you a plugger on a program that will keep youth off the streets so that they WON'T try to jack you for that nice car you're indebted for the next 10 years for, you look down on me. But in the very next breath you're inviting me to some party? You wear your oh so gorgeous fraternity paraphernalia to the workplace, but when I ask you when your next service project, you give me the $h!* face.
Where have I been? Has the world always been this way? Has my head really been THAT far in the clouds that I couldn't see what was going on around me? I realize I'm ultra positive - sometimes to a fault. But is it really this bad out here? I mean do you mean to tell me that NOBODY wants to be part of the solution? Instead, they'd rather be part of the problem?
If you're watching someone drowning and instead of trying to give them a hand, you simply stand there and stare or even worse turn your back on them, aren't you just as guilty as the person who pushed them into the pool? Why not?
My head hurts sometimes when I'm at work just listening to the ignorance that's spewn around me. Tuition for this online university is going for $60k for a Bachelor's degree. $60k!!! And you want to give me a packet filled with reasons why the latest tuition increase is justifiable? Give me a break!
We are meeting a need for some...I'll give you that. But is what we're offering really work sixty thousand dollars? Somehow I don't believe it. I can't force myself to believe that I'll have LESS THAN $60k total for both my undergrad and grad degrees and yet this school that I work for is worth HALF that. Come on now!
Okay world...so now you know...I HAVE to get out of here! I'm trying my best to move on. I mean I'm literally ITCHING to make a difference in someone's life. But no one's hiring me!
Later on, i'll come back and edit this and put a positive spin on it. But not right now...I'm not in the mood.
Things to Change
I get out, I get out of all your boxes
I get out, you can't hold me in these chains
I'll get out Father free me from this bondage
Knowin' my condition Is the reason I must change
"I Get Out" by Lauryn Hill (MTV Unplugged 2.0)
In my undergraduate career, I met a lot of really cool, intelligent, politically aware and socially conscious people. Some of them I've maintained contact with, others I didn't. At the time I considered myself pretty open minded, but now that I've grown a bit more, I can see that I really wasn't as open minded as I thought.
If you can't have a discussion with someone whose values and belief system is different without it becoming a shouting match or without being SO headstrong that you can't simply agree to disagree, you are NOT open minded :) Lesson learned...
In any event, once I had my fill of corporate america, of fulfilling my life long dream of leaving behind my urban existence and making a life for myself outside of the ghetto of Chicago, of not worrying about the material things I wanted - like clothing, cars, electronics, food, etc. - I found that I was still unfulfilled. I also found that all my life I'd dreamt of going to college and moving away from home and once I'd done it, I had never planned beyond that.
Eventually I began making other plans for things to accomplish during my lifetime - things like seeing the world, getting a M.S. degree, buying property, going on a cruise. Still somewhat materialistic, but goals nonetheless.
So here I am working on my M.S. degree, with plans of traveling to Nigeria next April since my college roommate is getting married, and I wonder - I know there has to be more to life than this right? Or at least that's what I used to think...
I'm at a point in my life where I truly believe I've discovered my purpose - to help others. I mean I truly enjoy helping others accomplish their goals in life. Some call me scatterbrained because of the million things that are constantly going on in my head or because of the random knowledge I have or because of the innate sense of connecting people to resources. But I've always felt that everything I do, everything I know is nothing if I'm not using it for a much greater purpose than myself.
It's a strange feeling...but it's almost as if I DON'T help those around me, I feel like I'm doing a disservice to the WORLD. Some call me crazy, but it's the truth.
Now that I'm truly in a position where I've "made it" I feel like I HAVE to give back. I mean there are children in my community losing their lives because they want to chase the green. Aren't I my brother's keeper? Isn't it MY responsibility to let them know that once you get to that point, it's not all it's cracked up to be? If not me, then who? Who am I supposed to leave that responsibility to save my neighborhood to? Politicians? Aldermen and women who are yet still chasing the green themselves? Who would rather make money and have meetings and rub elbows and brown nose rather than make real change?
I can't. I wish I could, but if I can't. If I didn't speak up or make changes or at the very least TRY to make a difference, how could I look myself in the face? How could I sleep at night?
So for all those socially conscious people making a difference that I missed out on during the ignorance of my youth and self centered stage - I apologize. I'm not there yet, I'm still discovering who I am, but I'm trying my best not to miss another opportunity to grow, another opportunity to meet someone new, another opportunity to get out of all the boxes be them BGLO, Female, African American, Afrocentric - whatever. I get out.
I get out, you can't hold me in these chains
I'll get out Father free me from this bondage
Knowin' my condition Is the reason I must change
"I Get Out" by Lauryn Hill (MTV Unplugged 2.0)
In my undergraduate career, I met a lot of really cool, intelligent, politically aware and socially conscious people. Some of them I've maintained contact with, others I didn't. At the time I considered myself pretty open minded, but now that I've grown a bit more, I can see that I really wasn't as open minded as I thought.
If you can't have a discussion with someone whose values and belief system is different without it becoming a shouting match or without being SO headstrong that you can't simply agree to disagree, you are NOT open minded :) Lesson learned...
In any event, once I had my fill of corporate america, of fulfilling my life long dream of leaving behind my urban existence and making a life for myself outside of the ghetto of Chicago, of not worrying about the material things I wanted - like clothing, cars, electronics, food, etc. - I found that I was still unfulfilled. I also found that all my life I'd dreamt of going to college and moving away from home and once I'd done it, I had never planned beyond that.
Eventually I began making other plans for things to accomplish during my lifetime - things like seeing the world, getting a M.S. degree, buying property, going on a cruise. Still somewhat materialistic, but goals nonetheless.
So here I am working on my M.S. degree, with plans of traveling to Nigeria next April since my college roommate is getting married, and I wonder - I know there has to be more to life than this right? Or at least that's what I used to think...
I'm at a point in my life where I truly believe I've discovered my purpose - to help others. I mean I truly enjoy helping others accomplish their goals in life. Some call me scatterbrained because of the million things that are constantly going on in my head or because of the random knowledge I have or because of the innate sense of connecting people to resources. But I've always felt that everything I do, everything I know is nothing if I'm not using it for a much greater purpose than myself.
It's a strange feeling...but it's almost as if I DON'T help those around me, I feel like I'm doing a disservice to the WORLD. Some call me crazy, but it's the truth.
Now that I'm truly in a position where I've "made it" I feel like I HAVE to give back. I mean there are children in my community losing their lives because they want to chase the green. Aren't I my brother's keeper? Isn't it MY responsibility to let them know that once you get to that point, it's not all it's cracked up to be? If not me, then who? Who am I supposed to leave that responsibility to save my neighborhood to? Politicians? Aldermen and women who are yet still chasing the green themselves? Who would rather make money and have meetings and rub elbows and brown nose rather than make real change?
I can't. I wish I could, but if I can't. If I didn't speak up or make changes or at the very least TRY to make a difference, how could I look myself in the face? How could I sleep at night?
So for all those socially conscious people making a difference that I missed out on during the ignorance of my youth and self centered stage - I apologize. I'm not there yet, I'm still discovering who I am, but I'm trying my best not to miss another opportunity to grow, another opportunity to meet someone new, another opportunity to get out of all the boxes be them BGLO, Female, African American, Afrocentric - whatever. I get out.
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