Fighting, Feeding and Growing

When the fighters are all around
All the lovers are underground
No one will save you anymore
So what’s happenin, what you rappin about let’s see boy
Is it cars, is it girls, is it money, the world?
Fighters by Lupe Fiasco

While speaking to a young woman today about where she was going in life, what she saw in her future, I found myself trying my damnedest to encourage her, to get her to see what I saw in her. She spoke about some of the people who were in her life and some of the things she was being shown and how the two didn’t coincide. I agreed with her wholeheartedly. Sometimes, the people in our life right now can not exist in the same space with some of our dreams, goals and destinies. It’s hard to comprehend that these people won’t be around forever sometimes because some of these people have been around our entire lives. Some of these people have been in our lives for a less time, but are still just as hard to imagine life without them.

In any event, the question is - are you willing to fight for your dream? Are you willing to fight to get where you want to be, where you can already see yourself clearly? I’m a believer that the enemy dispatches his soldiers to keep us in the same places we’ve always been. To keep us in the same mindset, to keep us around the same people, to keep us in the same places mentally, physically and financially. The problem is that as long as we’re hanging around the same people, in the same places we’ve always been, we can’t see that we aren’t growing. Anything not growing is dead. No doubt about it, no questions asked – just dead.

So how do I keep from dying? How do I stay alive? The good news is there is in fact a way. However, there’s only one way to stay alive – and that’s to GROW!

Well how exactly do I do that? I’ve heard that faith as small as a mustard seed is enough to cause a change. This is true. However, you must water that seed in order for it to grow, in order to get to the next stage of life. If you only have mustard seed faith and never water it, all you’ll ever have is a seed. You’ll never get anything worth something from it. Can you imagine having a pocketful of seeds, but never watering them? How would you get the “fruit” or the produce from them? If your children were hungry, and you had a pocket full of seeds, would you water them or would you let them starve? That’s how faith is…if you plan to get “fed” from that faith, you have to water it. Eventually that small seed will grow and becomes as large as some of the largest trees around. So in a personal sense, what is the water? How can I water my seed?

Your “water” can be anything that causes you to become better, anything that causes you to do more, anything that causes you to grow. Now I’m not going to lie, growing is uncomfortable and sometimes even painful. It takes determination and most importantly a fighter spirit. Or as my Pastor says a pit bull mentality. If you’ve ever seen a pit bull attack something, once they get a hold to it, their jaws lock and won’t let go for anything. If a pit bull ever gets a hold of you, its jaws will have to literally be pried apart because no matter what, nothing is making that pit bull let go of its hold on you. If you plan to accomplish your dreams and goals in life, that’s exactly how you have to be about holding onto them. You have to be willing to grab a hold of them and not let anyone or anything force you to let go. You have to get to the point where you are going to fight to the death to accomplish what you’ve set out to do. When I say fight, I mean fight so hard that those watching you are encouraged to the point that they want to help you fight. That’s how you have to fight for your own growth. Why? Because in all honesty, this is all about survival. If this is truly your destiny, that means this is something you’ve been put here on this earth to accomplish. That means if you aren’t doing it, it’s not being done and there are a whole host of people going without and essentially dying - all because you aren’t living and walking in your purpose and destiny. Now back to the water analogy – how do you water your seed?

For me, searching the web is my water. I research the different questions I have during the day – about career choices, about questions others have had, whatever. Talking to others about not only their goals and dreams, but about my own causes me to grow. I assist others and in the same breath, they are assisting me as well. The music I listen to is my water. When I tell people that I only listen to music that makes me feel good, they limit me to gospel. Don’t get me wrong; I love Tye Tribbett and Kirk Franklin just as much as the next person. But Jill Scott, Black Star, Lupe, and Outkast are also some of the artists that encourage me.

You see your “water” doesn’t only have to relate to church or gospel music. Yes, I try to feed myself with the Word of God as well. One thing to stay mindful of is that no matter what you “eat” you are in fact feeding yourself. Whether you choose to eat grease (which causes heart attacks and decreases your energy) or something healthy like leafy green vegetables (which boost your energy and assists toxins to exit your digestive system) you ARE in fact feeding yourself.

So the question is, WHAT are you feeding yourself? Are you pursuing a dream worth fighting for? Are you watering that seed and seeing GROWTH as a result?

So what happens if you are following all the steps...you've completed the assessment so you know what type you are according to Meyers-Briggs, you've identified your passions in life, you're applying to only those positions that are inside your field of interest, but for some reason you're just not getting any callbacks. What do you do now? Keep at it! Don't grow weary in well doing. Stay positive...this is a marathon, not a sprint!

Case in point: I've applied for quite a few positions as of late. But for some reason I'm not getting them. I know my cover letter and resume are on point - I've submitted them to others for review - one of whom works in resume review. And I've received rave reviews. I even applied for a position as a Career Coach with my current company. I KNOW I'm qualified, I have experience in the field, albeit volunteer, but experience nonetheless. But I was still turned down.

What does that mean? Am I tripping and maybe I'm not as good a candidate as I think? NOT! Most likely, I'm simply not the candidate they are looking for. My current employer has this strange habit of designing job titles and descriptions that don't actually fit the duties of the position. So when I was asked in a pre-interview questionnaire what I thought the job entailed, more than likely that's what got me.

My co-workers and I joke all the time about whether or not we work in a call center. The truth of the matter is that we do. But for some strange reason, our superiors seem to not want us to think that way. I find it amusing at best. The words "call center" are replaced with "phone technology" and "academic advising" when in reality we are customer service.

So where do I go from here? I apply for positions outside of my company, first of all. If I already know the history of this place, why stay? DON'T! I research effective resumes online, if I haven't already. And if I have, then I find even more suggestions to make my resume and coverletter stand out even more.

Farrah Gray has stated that sometimes our destiny isn't what we think it is. Sometimes there are walls placed in front of us like mazes to force us to go in another direction. So when you hit a wall, that's when it's time to come back to those initial questions:

1) What have I been put here to do?

Most definitely to help others. I have a thirst and hunger and knowledge of all things and I love using that knowledge to either connect people who wouldn't have met otherwise or to provide a tidbit of useful information at just the right time.

2) Am I doing what it takes to get to where I want to be?

I think so. I'm applying for only those positions that appeal to my passions and interests. I'm being honest in my coverletter about what exactly I'm looking for in my next position and what makes me qualified for that particular position.

3) Is there anything that I haven't done or that I can do better?

I know that I've slowdragged my feet on writing a coverletter for a few positions. So I can more aggressively apply for jobs so that instead of sitting here stewing in my dislike for the new policies at my current company, I can actually DO something about it.

For the Love of Money

So this nonprofit that I was SOOOO excited to work with? Turns out the "Executive Director" appears to just be another sheisty guy looking to make a quick buck by operating under the guise of a 501(C)3 organization.

It's actually pretty sad when you think about it. Here is someone who has a website, a brochure, other marketing materials and is collecting donations. Yet, somehow he's only managed to provide ONE scholarship to a student that was referred to him through his job. I wouldn't necessarily mind that at all ... IF you did not work for a proprietary institution AND you were paid bonuses based on the students you convinced to attend school online. In essence, the "scholarship" you provided was no more than payment to get that student on your roster. Sounds very unethical.

And it took all of 4 days to figure this out. By nature, I am a skeptic. Not on purpose or anything like that, it's just that I for one do NOT tolerate being sold on ANYTHING. My feelings and reading tells me that whenever you have a true quality product, it will sell itself. Up until this point in my life, I've found that to be true. I mean if you have a sincere heart and a genuine purpose, people will WANT to support you. When you are forced to hard sell something, that generally means you're trying and have to convince me to see your point of view.

That's not right. At least not for me. So, oh well. What seemed like the perfect opportunity actually became the ultimate learning lesson.

Lessons Revisited:
1) Question everything.
2) In God we trust, everyone else requires proof. (which means ask for physical evidence)
3) If your questions are met with offense, someone is obviously doing something unethical. So watch out and when things go south you have NO ONE to blame but yourself!

Just Do It!

So I officially began my graduate program last week. I have to admit, I am more than a little excited about it. In case you forgot, I am pursuing a M.S. in Nonprofit Management.

Class began on Thursday and as I was telling someone about my new love interest, another co-worker overheard me and asked me a series of questions about why I was interested in that particular arena - especially considering that I work in for profit education. So we discussed a couple of things and wouldn't you know he founded a nonprofit organization back in 2006?

In any event, I met one his board members and am now the Assistant Director of Programs for the foundation. I am extremely excited about it. Currently, it is a volunteer position, which means one more thing I'm adding to my plate, but this is a huge opportunity for me to put my degree to use immediately. In addition, he's been giving me a wealth of information to prepare me for when I start my own nonprofit.

Life is good...and all because I took the initial step and enrolled in school. So what does this mean? JUST DO IT!!! Believe me, everything else will fall into place.

How Do I Find It?

I facilitated a workshop yesterday for a group of high school students. It was absolutely amazing! There were truly some brilliant minds in that room - the intensity of the questions asked, the comments and solutions offered were truly above and beyond what some adults can even articulate. Let me say this - whatever you do, we have to give back to our youth. They deserve to know the truth about themselves, their hopes and their dreams.

The question was asked by one of the students, how do I find my passion? Immediately I thought of Farrah Gray's Get Real, Get Rich:

1) What comes easy to you, but harder to others? (Think of things you're complimented on, this may be a special talent that you are called weird for like cooking amazing meals, flower arranging, or talking - like myself! This is your natural talent, that you might be taking for granted.)

2) What would you do nonstop and never have to get paid for it? (The joy of making money is fleeting, imagine having a great time making the money for whatever you're doing but the money is just a bonus.)

3) How can you be of service and give back to others? (The more we give, the more we receive. Giving back can include giving money, volunteer hours, etc. You can add value to society simply by operating in your talent and fulfilling a need that exists.)

A few years before I had read Farrah's book, I'd spent a lot of my free time trying to figure out what some of my key talents were. Though I had a knack for numbers, I wouldn't exactly say I was passionate about them. This is where another valuable resource came in:

Do What You Are by Paul Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger. It's a book of career suggestions based on a personality assessment. You can take a quick version of the assessment here.

Based on the four letter code you get as a result, you can then go to this website for more information on potential careers and a strengths and weaknesses assessment.

Honestly and truly, this book worked wonders for my life. At the time, I had just gotten fired from my accounting job and I was really looking for something meaningful to do with my life. I knew accounting wasn't it, especially since I had just spent the last month or so looking at myself in the work bathroom mirror at work and saying "I am not an accountant. I don't look or feel like an accountant. I can't believe I'm working in corporate america for some company that does nothing for my community. I should have went to law school." Literally, these were the thoughts I had been having. So when I got fired, it was a blessing. I would finally be forced to find out what my interests were, to find out what I was really interested in and what I truly wanted to do with my life.

On February 14, 2007 my car slid on black ice and was hit by 2 semi trucks. Though I was in graduate school at the time working on leadership development, which I loved - that further solidified the fact that I had to work in an arena I was passionate about.

As much as we'd like to believe we are independently thinking creatures, sometimes it really does take a literal PUSH to get you where you are destined to be in life. That's why I can't really hate on the family I was raised in, the haters I endured, the horrible teachers and managers I've had, the accident, etc. Because had it not been for them, I would be complacent. I would have been okay staying in the same places I had always been in, never moving forward, never getting better.

What is Passion?

I mean I hear all the motivational speakers discussing it. Every once in a while when I see people who are studying the arts, they discuss it. It seems most people are missing it. There are movies about it - think Passion of the Christ. But really what is PASSION?
For different people, it may mean different things. For me however, it means wanting and yearning to do something. Case in point: I'm passionate about education. Educating myself, educating others - it really doesn't matter. I feel literally driven to educate through googling random ideas I've had throughout the day, reading new books, being nosy - ahem, inquisitive- about others' lives and ideas and their reason for living. I can honestly say I'm passionate about learning new things. I recently read an article about passion that stated if you're passionate about what you're doing on a day to day basis, you won't have to set goals. That makes a whole lot of sense.

I currently work in a metrics driven environment where we are constantly reminded of the goals and metrics we have to meet. You have to make X number of phone calls per day, you have to contact Y number of students, you have to register Z number of classes, your shift time should be this number, your lunch time should be this other number and so on and so forth.

But what if we were truly passionate about serving students? What if we were driven to connect to each of our students because we truly loved the work we were doing? Would the numbers and metrics then take care of themselves?

I wonder about this as I sit in "ready" status, not really feeling driven to make another phone call. Instead, I feel extremely led to share and chronicle this real life experience in written form.

So the question that I constantly pose to others who find themselves in similar situations is: So what are you going to DO about it?

Good question. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I'm not very passionate about the job that I do full time. The job that pays my bills. So what action am I going to take? I could easily say, well this job pays my car note. I already have a second job, I don't have time to look for another one. I could say there are so many people unemployed right now, I'm happy I have a job. And all of that would be true. But none of those EXCUSES would be solving the situation at hand.

The situation is I'M NOT PASSIONATE ABOUT MY JOB, SO WHAT NOW? Well let's see. What am I passionate about? I already mentioned education. I love educating others. So I began this blog so that others could hopefully read about my experiences and learn from them. I've also enrolled and start next week in a Master's program so that I can become more educated about the nonprofit field. That will help me become more confident and well versed in a field I have TONS of interest in. It will also prepare me to run my own business. Am I passionate about writing? I'm still figuring that out. One thing I know for certain is that I love talking to people, so every chance I get, I'm talking to others about their passions. Trying to reveal something new to them. In the meantime, you'll never believe what's happened.

The passion that didn't exist for my job has now evolved. Though I'm not all that passionate about the duties so to speak, I find passion in other aspects of my job. I love talking to people right? So call that student. Especially the few that I actually enjoy speaking with! One bite at a time, I find a way to eat the elephant. One segment at a time, I find things that I actually enjoy about my job and it becomes a lot more enjoyable. So look at that...I direct the focus on the good things (my passion) and magically the focus is removed from I don't particularly care for.

Inspired by the following article: http://www.alistercameron.com/2007/04/28/if-you-dont-have-passion-and-purpose-greater-productivity-wont-help-you/

Follow Your Dreams

I began in my mind as a paralegal. My math teacher pushed me toward making an attorney my journey, but since I really liked Math and counting, being an accountant literally sounded like the perfect choice. I mean, counting, accounting sounds similar so if I like one, quite naturally I'll like the other right? Right.

Attended a vocational high school, majored in accounting. Went to a community college, majored in accounting. Went to a Big Ten University and guess what? Majored in accounting. Graduated and went into the accounting field. Somewhere along the way of falling asleep while reading course descriptions while a student, falling asleep while in class and falling asleep while at work it never dawned on me that maybe my dream had changed.

I mean, true, I'd spend all this time thinking, planning, wanting to be an accountant. So now that I'd discovered a new ME, what now? I mean I'd already spent all of this money on this prestigious degree. I'd moved from one side of the country to the other for this profession. Do I simply walk away from all of that and decide on something else? YES! But what about all the time and effort I'd placed into it? In accounting, we call that a sunk cost. That means money spent in the past should have no bearing on future decision making. Instead, the focus should be on the future and what you plan to get out of the decision you made. In my case, my accounting degree would do absolutely nothing for my future so the fact that I'd spent so much money on it in the past had no bearing on how happy I would be in the future. Makes sense? Good.

Motivation

What is it? Where did it come from? Why do some have booku amounts of it, whereas others have none at all?

I ask myself this question as I return from my trip down "Reading Lane", not memory lane mind you...at least not memories of my own. I'm coming down off a high of reading about others' stories. About their lives, their destinies, their travels and their downfalls. I've been kicking it in the blogosphere, jumping from one person's favs to another.

And it makes me think. Why am I so motivated to improve? I mean from what I can tell, I grew up in your average working/lower class family. Single family home, 3rd child of 4. Both brothers have been incarcerated more than once. Yet I'm the only one who went to college. Some reports say that children who are exposed to more, who experience more, who know more in turn want more for themselves. Hmm...something to think about definitely.

So as a child who's mother spent more time building her son's activity repertoire than her daughters', where did my motivation and thirst for more originate?

More than likely from reading. My family tells me that even as a child more days than not you could find me doing one of two things: talking your ear off and asking a gazillion and one questions or in the corner reading a book. I mean there was no in between. So much that I got the nickname "Radio". Funny how some things DON'T change.

Nowadays, you can either find me questioning the hell out of your motivations and your eventual goals or reading some blog, newsletter or book. So while some blame their single parents for who they've become, I thank mine. Without me constantly moving from one state to another, I may not have ever become accustomed to change. Without being read to as a child, I may not have ever learned how to use my imagination to the extent of becoming an idea MACHINE (literally). Both of those things led to MY motivation...a thirst for new things, ideas, concepts and my ability to jump in feet first without regard for fear - most times.

What motivates you?

Day One

Welcome WWW :D Well here I am...though one of my long term goals is to one day get paid through my blog, I've decided to start this one if for no other reason than to keep track of all the blogs I enjoy reading on a daily basis. A little bit about me...i'm passionate about pursuing your purpose and passion in life. I mean I'm so bout it, bout it that if given the opportunity I'll do my best to encourage even the strangest of strangers to just GO FOR IT! In any event...in the coming months I'm sure we'll get quite cozy with one another. For now, just know that I love ME, music, cultures, MEN, food and life. Probably in that order too, lol. How do you do?